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A Typology of Codependence as well as the Dependent Personality Disorder

Typology of Codependents
Codependence can be a complicated, multi-faceted, and multi-dimensional defence against the codependent's fears and requirements. There are 4 categories of codependence, stemming from their respective aetiologies:
(i) Codependence that aims to fend of anxieties associated to abandonment. These codependents are clingy, smothering, prone to panic, are plagued with tips of reference, and show self-negating submissiveness. Their major concern is to avoid their victims (buddies, spouses, family members) from deserting them or from attaining correct autonomy and independence.
(ii) Codependence that's geared to cope with all the codependent's worry of losing control. By feigning helplessness and neediness such codependents coerce their environment into ceaselessly catering to their requirements, wishes, and requirements. These codependents are "drama queens" and their life is a kaleidoscope of instability and chaos. They refuse to develop up and force their nearest and dearest to treat them as emotional and/or physical invalids. They deploy their self-imputed deficiencies and disabilities as weapons.
Each these types of codependents use emotional blackmail and, when necessary, threats to secure the presence and blind compliance of their "suppliers".
(iii) Vicarious codependents live through other folks. They "sacrifice" themselves as a way to glory in the accomplishments of their selected targets. They subsist on reflected light, on second-hand applause, and on derivative achievements. They have no personal history, having suspended their wishes, preferences, and dreams in favour of another's.
From my book "Malignant Self Adore - Narcissism Revisited":
"Inverted Narcissist
Also named "covert narcissist", this can be a co-dependent who depends exclusively on narcissists (narcissist-co-dependent). If you are living using a narcissist, possess a connection with one, in case you are married to one, in case you are functioning using a narcissist, and so forth. it will not imply that you simply are an inverted narcissist.
To "qualify" as an inverted narcissist, you must CRAVE to become within a partnership using a narcissist, irrespective of any abuse inflicted on you by him/her. You have to ACTIVELY seek relationships with narcissists and ONLY with narcissists, regardless of what your (bitter and traumatic) previous encounter has been. You must really feel EMPTY and UNHAPPY in relationships with ANY OTHER sort of individual. Only then, and if you satisfy the other diagnostic criteria of a Dependent Character Disorder, are you able to be safely labelled an 'inverted narcissist'."
(iv) Ultimately, there is certainly an additional type of dependence which is so subtle that it eluded detection till very not too long ago.
Counterdependents
Counterdependents reject and despise authority and typically clash with authority figures (parents, boss, the Law). Their sense of self-worth and their extremely self-identity are premised on and derived from (in other words, are dependent on) these acts of bravura and defiance. Counterdependents are fiercely independent, controlling, self-cantered, and aggressive. Many of them are antisocial and use Projective Identification (i.e. force people to behave in ways that buttresses and affirm the counterdependent's view in the globe and his expectations).
These behavior patterns are frequently the result of a deep-seated fear of intimacy. In an intimate relationship, the counterdependent feels enslaved, ensnared, and captive. Counterdependents are locked into "approach-avoidance repetition complex" cycles. Hesitant method is followed by avoidance of commitment. They are "lone wolves" and undesirable group players.
From my book "Malignant Self Adore - Narcissism Revisited":
"Counterdependence is actually a reaction formation. The counterdependent dreads his personal weaknesses. He seeks to overcome them by projecting an image of omnipotence, omniscience, achievement, self-sufficiency, and superiority.
Most "classical" (overt) narcissists are counterdependent. Their emotions and requirements are buried under "scar tissue" which had formed, coalesced, and hardened during years of 1 type of abuse or an additional. Grandiosity, a sense of entitlement, a lack of empathy, and overweening haughtiness normally hide gnawing insecurity as well as a fluctuating sense of self-worth."
There is fantastic confusion with regards to the terms co-dependent, counter-dependent, and dependent. Ahead of we proceed to study the Dependent Character Disorder in our next report, we would do properly to clarify these terms.
Codependents
Like dependents (folks with all the Dependent Personality Disorder), codependents rely on other individuals for their emotional gratification and the overall performance of each inconsequential and critical everyday and psychological functions.
Codependents are needy, demanding, and submissive. They suffer from abandonment anxiety and, to avoid getting overwhelmed by it, they cling to other individuals and act immaturely. These behaviors are intended to elicit protective responses and to safeguard the "relationship" with their companion or mate upon whom they depend. Codependents appear to be impervious to abuse. Regardless of how badly mistreated, they stay committed.
This is where the "co" in "co-dependence" comes into play. By accepting the role of victims, codependents seek to handle their abusers and manipulate them. It's a danse macabre in which each members from the dyad collaborate.
The Dependent Character Disorder is actually a much disputed mental overall health diagnosis.
We are all dependent to some degree. We all prefer to be taken care of. When is this need to have judged to be pathological, compulsive, pervasive, and excessive? Clinicians who contributed for the study of this disorder use words for example "craving", "clinging", "stifling" (both the dependent and her partner), and "humiliating", or "submissive". But they are all subjective terms, open to disagreement and variations of opinion.
Furthermore, practically all cultures encourage dependency to varying degrees. Even in developed nations, several females, the really old, the really young, the sick, the criminal, along with the mentally-handicapped are denied personal autonomy and are legally and economically dependent on others (or around the authorities). Hence, the Dependent Personality Disorder is diagnosed only when such behavior will not conform with social or cultural norms.
Codependents, as they may be often known, are possessed with wonderful worries and issues and are paralyzed by their abandonment anxiousness and worry of separation. This inner turmoil renders them indecisive. Even the simplest everyday choice becomes an excruciating ordeal. This is the reason codependents seldom initiate projects or do factors on their own.
Dependents usually go about eliciting continual and repeated reassurances and advice from a myriad sources. This recurrent solicitation of succour is proof that the codependent seeks to transfer duty for his or her life to other individuals, regardless of whether they have agreed to assume it or not.
This recoil and studious avoidance of challenges might give the incorrect impression that the Dependent is indolent or insipid. But, most Dependents are neither. They may be frequently fired by repressed ambition, energy, and imagination. It is their lack self-confidence that holds them back. They do not trust their very own abilities and judgment.
Absent an inner compass plus a realistic assessment of their positive qualities on the 1 hand and limitations alternatively, Dependents are forced to rely on essential input from the outdoors. Realizing this, their behavior becomes self-negating: they in no way disagree with meaningful other individuals or criticizes them. They may be afraid to shed their help and emotional nurturance.
Consequently, as I have written inside the Open Site Encyclopedia entry on this disorder:
"The codependent molds himself/herself and bends more than backward to cater for the requirements of his nearest and dearest and satisfy their each and every whim, want, expectation, and demand. Absolutely nothing is too unpleasant or unacceptable if it serves to safe the uninterrupted presence in the codependent's loved ones and buddies as well as the emotional sustenance s/he can extract (or extort) from them.
The codependent will not really feel fully alive when alone. S/he feels helpless, threatened, ill-at-ease, and child-like. This acute discomfort drives the codependent to hop from one particular partnership to one more. The sources of nurturance are interchangeable. To the codependent, becoming with an individual, with anybody, regardless of whom - is usually preferable to solitude."